Good guy gone bad?

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Dear Carolyn,

I am described by most of my friends and family as a “good guy.” I go to church, volunteer in my community and am a loyal, faithful husband. I’m the first one to help a friend move or just listen to a family member’s problem. My kids look up to me and my company just asked me to be a trainer. Life is great. However, I have this terrible urge to just blow it all up. I think about what it would be like to just get in my truck and drive away from all my responsibilities. It’s not like I would ever do it, I just think about it.

Does this mean I’m crazy? Should I tell someone? These feelings scare me.


Dear Phil,

Everyone has a “shadow self,” a dark side or an evil twin perched on your shoulder. As long as Good Phil is in control of Bad Phil, things will be fine. I believe you should sit quietly with both sides and let the dark side know that you are aware of his presence but not at all intimidated by him. And then, you ought to add some activities to your life that push you out of your comfort zone. Challenge yourself to do something that scares you in a good way like training for a 5k or riding a mountain bike. Learn to cook something complicated or take a painting class. Read an adventure novel or book an eco trip. There’s no good reason to blow up your life when there are plenty of other ways to get a skip back in your step.

I’m just say’n


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