She’s taking all the torque she can, Jim. We’re at critical mass.

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alienDo you ever read something so outrageously effed up about the industry you can’t stand it? (OK, wrong question to ask anyone who reads me regularly… touché.) But seriously, have you ever read something so ridiculous, you immediately become angry and indignant? Something so terrible you just can’t imagine a real human being pieced it together and hope that someone has an imminently evil computer program to stitch together an AP article about trucking? Something you’d rather poke your own eyes out with a rake than read again? No? Oh my goodness, do I have a plethora of snakes and black mold for you.

The past week has been extremely verdant with crapola.

Hi, guys (and I do mean “guys” in every sense of the word, since “guys” seem to be the only ones accredited with unusually stupid statements to the press about trucking this week. Sorry, calling it like it is. Let’s move on …)

Hi guys, just a little note from the people who have brains and vote. Also, we pay a crapload of taxes, and get your commodities from point “A” to point “B” without you ever having to worry your pretty blonde head about it… just sayin’.

We’d like to respectfully request you take your cranium out of your L-7 lumbar area and listen to the people who actually have to implement the insane mandates you levy on the industry. We’d like you to know, unequivocally, we have no faith in you whatsoever; you are no more associated to this industry to us than a three-headed alien from the planet Zoron, originating in the fifth circle of hell. Let me make this more clear, if possible – Kim Kardashian probably knows more about trucking than the people making decisions for the industry. At least her picture is on the side of a trailer.

Can we scrape the bottom of the proverbial barrel anymore here? I think not. (Honestly, don’t make me go there — having to look at KK in the parking lot of where we live is punishment enough, don’t make the torture any worse. You are inhumane if you do.)

If you’re too stupid to understand that pay attracts excellence, then you have been left behind by the basic premise of thumbs, which allowed human beings, thousands of years ago, to manipulate things to a level above and beyond the pack horse or work mule status. Catch up, yo. Or Google “thumbs.” It’s free.

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You can have all the fantastic trucks with “all the things” installed in them, but if you have crap driving them your investment is in crap. It’s not negotiable. It’s a provable fact. Safety measures are completely and utterly useless without operators. Your ABS don’t work when that truck don’t roll, Scooter. Go ahead and put a camera in a commercial vehicle that sits in the yard and see how much “data” you get from it.

Push it. Let’s see how far those thumbs can take us down the road of destruction. Apparently it’s too hard to listen to the people who actually do the job. We’re in need of some kind of imminent guidance from those who deem themselves “experts” in the transportation field.

We’re waiting. But not for long. You’re losing experienced drivers every single day. And they are not being replaced with the same caliber of professional. Good luck with having toilet paper on the roll every day… There’s not a driver shortage, there’s a common sense problem. #wedontappreciatethumbs