Already Over Her

Updated Apr 22, 2013


But don’t settle out of fear of being alone


Dear Carolyn,

Carolyn Magner is not a professional therapist, shrink or even a very nice person. Her advice is meant to entertain you, not solve your terrible, desperate problems. Email Carolyn at [email protected].

After years of being alone, I have just started dating a new woman I met online. We get along well, but I have to say, I’m just not feeling it. I find myself making excuses to not see her and am increasingly annoyed by little things she does. We have only been dating for a few weeks, and I am not sure if I should give it more time. I’m afraid I will end up alone if I am this picky!

What do you think?


Dear Dave,

You are just not that into her. Don’t settle for someone who annoys you this soon into the relationship. The first few weeks are reserved for blinding attraction that overpowers the little things. You skipped right past this step into being highly annoyed by all she does. Not good.

“Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is

inevitably disappointed.”

— Albert Einstein

Don’t label this as your “last chance.” Politely and with kindness, tell her you are moving on. And then cast a wider net. Settling for someone is not only bad for you, it’s bad for her.

I’m just say’n.


In a pickle with A pit bull

Dear Carolyn,

My new boyfriend owns a pit bull, and while I believe him that his dog is sweet, I am petrified of the dog. I know that it’s irrational, and he gets very upset about how afraid I am. I have no reason to doubt the gentle nature of “Brutus,” but just thinking about him makes me start to shake. We are talking about driving together as a team, but he won’t consider it without taking Brutus with us. He gave me an ultimatum of one week to decide.

What do you think?


Dear Jen,

Pit bulls get a bad rap, and it is unfair that the breed is so maligned. I blame the owners who breed and train them for aggression, not the dogs. However, what I am hearing is that your boyfriend doesn’t take your fears seriously. Obviously, that’s because he knows his dog and vouches for his nature. But he’s still setting up an ultimatum, and that puts him in the doghouse in my book. I don’t like ultimatums and don’t like it when my readers get them or give them. If you plan to throw your lot in with Brutus and company, then be very sure that’s what you want.

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I’m just say’n.


Long, lonely road

Dear Carolyn,

I really love my trucking job but am worried about the future. I am at least 75 pounds overweight, have high blood pressure and probably sleep apnea. I try hard to eat right, but it’s hard. The hours are long and boring, and if it’s in my truck and not nailed down, I eat it! Please don’t yell at me and tell me what an idiot I am. I know that already. And I read all the diet and fitness advice in this magazine and other places. I was once a healthy guy who liked to hunt, fish and swim laps. Now, I do nothing but drive and eat or eat and drive. It’s the loneliness and boredom that I can’t shake. I’m not asking you for a solution, just to listen to me.


Dear Mel,

I hear ya, buddy. And believe me, you are not alone. The loneliness and long boring hours will do in just about anyone if they let it. You are one step ahead of the game because you recognize the triggers and seem to want to do better. Intention is a very strong motivator. You took the time to write this letter and hit send. While that may not burn any calories, it might be the moment you made a decision to do a little bit better.

Check out some of the stories about truckers like you who have made the decision to improve their health. They are very generous with their time and encouragement.

Good luck to you.

To read Carolyn’s blog on your smartphone or tablet, scan this tag using a free reader (search “QR code reader” in your device’s app store), or visit http://www.truckers

I’m just say’n.