Tag: alien abduction

Business

Not all those who wander have been abducted by aliens

“So there’s this guy, they call him ‘Cargo,’ and he started walking due North eleven months ago in Ushuaia, Argentina, toward Prudhoe Bay, Alaska. Yep. I said walking. And he’s made it on foot through South and Central America, in less than a year.”… No joke, and he wasn’t abducted by aliens …

November 8, 2017

Business

Notes on possible alien abductions

“It’s stressful living near the only widely-known storage facility for captive aliens. Wright Patterson Air Force Base is probably designated by spacemen far and wide as the Guantanamo of the Milky Way.”

December 5, 2016

Business

Meteor showers and the return of the CB

“I’m pretty sure there’s a distinct possibility we were abducted by aliens the other night. At least that’s how the story would go if I were telling it at the Counter of Knowledge. …”

November 22, 2015

Business

Time travel, trucker style

Even if you had a genuine alien abductor to take you away from that most dreaded stretch of boring highway, it wouldn’t matter, according to George: “Tires aren’t rated for wormholes, can’t run ’em. And I’m pretty sure some of your friends are aliens.”

October 19, 2014

Business

The Whataburger connection

…to alien abduction? Yes: “Poor George has the implant, and he’s unable to fight the urges of the evil radio signals that emit from it, even under great duress.”

April 13, 2014

Business

Beam me up, NASA

What would you like to know about a NASA rocket launch? Wendy will be in attendance at one December 17 — tell here here. “If I have a list, I’ll stay on task (for 11 minutes). Help a sistah out.”

December 6, 2013

Business

Haints, spooks and flat-out weirdness

“And there’s the time we were riding along in Arizona desert in the dark one night — I was already nervous about being abducted by aliens….”

August 30, 2013

Business

The Mother Ship has landed

“I don’t know if any of you noticed, but Earth was recently invaded openly by aliens in the form of giant meteorites… If you’re looking for me, I’ll be over here under the catwalk in the fetal position.”

February 27, 2013

Business

Pedestrians in the desert

“I worry over these people, I think about them for days after we see them.”

February 3, 2013

Business

Middle of Nowhere, Ariz., with cattle, aliens…

Wendy and George find themselves on a cow path in the middle of the night in Arizona: “When George Parker is driving and he says, ‘This isn’t good,’ it means you’re potentially about to experience a fiery death crash.”…

November 16, 2012

Business

Jesus and an alien walk into a …

Ever wonder what happens when you’re on the verge of veritable alien abduction? This story’s a pretty good description of it.

November 2, 2012