The Keys Truckers’ ‘Letter to Capitol Hill’

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File this one under “modest proposal.”

Dsc 0109Seems Keys Truckers Jan and James (pictured) McCarter are always involved when a nice slab of satire graces the blog here, not to mention good music. In any case, last week was a banner in both quarters. Amid the week’s run of comments surrounding our top-10 trucking songs poll results, I found a vid I’d missed in “Bobby Boofay’s Trucking Songs.” Among the hits sampled on James McCarter’s hilarious alterego’s putative album include one (a takeoff on the chorus of “East Bound and Down”) that begins with “I ain’t made a dime since I started truckin’. I’m tryin’ to do what they say can’t be done.” Find the full vid here.

And then there’s “The Trucker’s Letter to Capitol Hill.” Published last week, it might win the title for best trucking modest proposal ever, beginning as such:

Hey guys, just thought I’d drop you a letter and sort of try to feel out what you guys are thinking. You have hit us up with many new regulations and rules and I’m pretty sure you don’t want us out here on the road anymore. Well, if that is your intention (and we all feel that it is), then there is a simple way of solving that.

First of all just tell all the politicians to quit buying stuff. Tell them to make do with what they have right now. Let’s start there and then the rest of the country can follow in your footsteps. After all, you guys are our elected leaders, right?

If they need food or clothing just tell them they can’t have any. If they need bottled water, just tell them to find a hose to drink out of. Oh, you think you’ll just go to the market and buy some. Trucks bring food and water to the market. Darn the luck huh?

If they need detergent to wash their clothes in just tell them to wear dirty clothes or bang them against a rock in a stream. Oh, don’t worry, the stream will be cleaner in a few years after the manufacturers go out of business. After all, trucks bring in the raw products to make their goods out of and there won’t be any….

Read the full piece here, and don’t miss Jan McCarter’s awesome song work via the Keys’ main page, too. Some great downloads available there.