This just in: The Senate approved the nomination of a potato chip as next administrator of the Federal Motor Carrier Safety Administration.
Senator Fluff McSnott gave his approval, calling the nomination, “salty and crisp.”
The potato chip has more experience than anyone else in the agency, because it’s actually been on a truck before. This qualification isn’t usually considered at all, but was unavoidable in this instance.
McFluff says, “We attempted to nominate a twig, but we couldn’t agree on the difference between a twig and a stick, so we settled on a potato chip.”
Consternation from the trucking industry was immediately put to rest by the new “Quityerbitchin Mandate,” which states that any concerns professional drivers may have about their governmental representation being qualified individuals are a hazardous safety issue, and an imminent danger to the public and butterflies. Also, puppies.
“We feel certain the potato chip will fulfill its duties in this position, and if it doesn’t, it provides an excellent source of sodium for the agency.”
The watchdog group Mothers Against Mad Potato Chips has yet to publicly support the nomination. Their marketing agent, Cindy Crybaby, gave this statement, “We only show up when the real press is there.”It’s widely rumored that French onion dip will be named as assistant to the potato chip. No official statement could be ascertained from the agency on this. However, it would be a monumental day for the trucking industry if two things that have actually been on a truck were involved in high level management of the agency.
Film at eleven.